That’s What Love Is. Thoughts . . ..
I get this…do you? Love thoughts….inaction or contradictory or worse betrayal….how do you make sense out of that? I may come to analyze it and understand intellectually, to a point, but relate? I try to bridge the gap, but don’t want to be touched by someone who is not authentic and love thought expressed with only symbolic acts would creep me out and drive me away.
Like hit and run visitors who do not relate to you, just do these gestures. I don’t carry that with me. I do. Put in my hands a task to do and I show love. I feel loved similarly. A hug and run with no substantive act is more like assault, a grope, an invasion. Internal states must be matched to gestures to have meaning. I feel internal states, and hurts when they don’t line up. And make me anxious, wondering what it means, if I’ve done something, missed cues, unforeseen consequences, villagers with pitchforks and torches storming the castle, or not about me at all.
Exhausting to have to catch the symbolic expressions, interpret behaviors on the fly, so much detail to sort out, too little time and people lie!!!
Hence I find children and simple people less stressful and “developmentally disabled” much easier to understand and more comfortable. If not, then give me the woods, the country, a farm, where life makes sense.,
